Are You Winning the Race?

We live in an internet and media culture where we see entrepreneurs sell companies for millions, celebrities have chiseled abs, and athletes achieve glory and wealth by breaking world records. We have all compared ourselves to them at one point and wondered how cool it would be to achieve such feats, but it is far more helpful to compare to yourself rather than anyone else.

Finding a good benchmark for comparing yourself can give you the motivation to achieve your goals, but choosing the wrong benchmark can detract from happiness, end in burnout, and could provide worse results. By comparing yourself to others, you are almost certainly preparing yourself for burnout and unhappiness.

Why Should You Compete with Yourself?

Easier to Stick To

Compared to yourself, the task of improvement doesn’t seem incredibly daunting. For a swimmer comparing times to Michael Phelps, it can be demoralizing to see how much separation exists. In reality, compared to a professional you’re probably terrible. Rather than telling yourself the terrible reality, just focus on your previous times and work on improving them slowly.

When I was 8 years old I started swimming competitively. My times meant a lot to me, but beating everyone else in the race was even more important. I placed so much emphasis on winning those competitive races that I used to throw up before events. The pressure caused by my comparison with others made me resent swimming as a child.

Don’t lose faith when it comes to achieving your goals. Forget about more muscular guys in the weight room or beautifully proportioned women on the treadmill. The comparisons make you lose faith and make it harder to continue what you’re doing.

Genetics

Whether you’re comparing intelligence or physical attributes to others, there is an element of genetics that you will never be able to overcome. Some men have the genetic skeletal framework to handle much more weight of muscle than you. Some boy wonders are going to be far smarter than you without trying. That is not to say that any of the genetically superior people will use their gift effectively or find happiness through it.

If you are expecting to get as muscular as Arnold Schwarzenegger or as fast as Usain Bolt, all I can say is good luck. My mother is 5’2 with little muscle mass and my father barely reaches 5’10. As an athlete in either swimming or soccer, I was at a distinct disadvantage.

Achievement is Relative

The pre-frontal cortex of the human brain has a simulator that enables our species to fantasize. We simulate how great it would be to have a certain appearance, to have certain wealth, or to have any other achievement. Unfortunately, the simulator in our pre-frontal cortex almost never gets it right.

There are too many variables to know the truth about others. Perhaps their achievement has come with incredible cost. Sometimes it is a cost they will only feel later on in life. Many times they regret their achievements for how it impacts their own happiness and wellbeing. The truth is, you just don’t know. So stop assuming everyone who is better than you is happy about it.

Everything is Interconnected

The greatest reason to compete with yourself is what I consider the “spillover effect”. When you improve your life in one realm, such as diet and fitness, you will start to improve in others. You start to realize, why not compete with myself at work? With relationships? It’s an upward spiral of improvement.

So even if your number one goal is to burn fat and gain muscle, competing with yourself will spillover into all areas of your life. Before you know it, you’ll be working more efficiently, doing meditation to relax, and doing a wide variety of other practices.

That’s all great. How do I start?

How to Start Competing with Yourself

Goal Setting

Analyzing your goals and detaching yourself from the outcome is one of the first steps to compete with yourself in a sustainable way. I have plenty of friends who are attached to reducing body fat to 9% and adding 20 pounds of muscle. Great, but why? In most cases, it is because the media depicts immaculate abs and a massive upper body to be “ideal”. When you tie your goals to comparisons, you will lack the patience you need to be successful.

It is fine to set goals, don’t get me wrong. I have a loose goal right now, but it is based primarily on what I believe my genetic capabilities to be. I want the best phenotypic expression for my genes.

Learning the root of your goal setting will allow you to free yourself from outcome. Because you understand the reasons for your goals, it is much easier to make excruciatingly small improvements and still follow your path. Make sure you are goal setting for the right reasons and you will prevent burnout.

Stop Giving a Fuck

An author and good friend of mine once wrote a short book entitled “Stop Giving a Fuck,” and the concept couldn’t be more useful here. If you want to truly better yourself, you have to ignore what anyone else thinks or says. Don’t worry about being embarrassed by the exercise routine that you do if it makes you better. As soon as you can stop caring about what other people are thinking or saying, you can focus all of your energy and attention on yourself.

When I go to the gym I remain there for about 15-30 minutes, I do a single set and it is until extreme failure where hyperventilating is involved. Sure, I look ridiculous to some people, but I don’t give a fuck. That routine is my path to improving every day.

Make it a Game

My biggest hobby is learning and applying new ways of getting better. Whether it be scientific methods that improve efficiency and strength gains or better meditative practices, it is all a game. When you turn your life into a game, you’re making a much stronger 100% commitment to improving your life in general rather than one small aspect of your life.

It may start with one thing, but eventually you can make it into a game with your entire life. The spillover effect will give you momentum and you will be able to treat life in the same way.

If you are going to make it into a game, you can even personify your “opponent”. In this case, your past, weaker version of yourself is the opponent. Get as creative as you’d like. The point is to make something stick.

Track and Test More

With modern technology and biohacking, there are an infinite number of ways for you to test and track EVERYTHING. As mentioned earlier, every person is genetically different and the only way to determine what is good for you is to track and test as much as you can.

Movements like quantified self help people to track all aspects of their lives. I met one woman at TEDx Austin named Laurie Frick who tracks her daily activities and sleep to incredible levels. My friend Jason Nunnelley tried to lower his triglyceride levels with a 30-day challenge of 12 eggs per day + 1 quart of butter (it worked).

When you stop comparing yourself to other people, there are few other markers to go by. With specific technology, it’s much easier to track and test yourself and determining whether you’re becoming the strongest version of yourself.

Get Competitive

In one of my most competitive moments, the 8 year old me yelled at a teammate “don’t just stick your foot out!” after losing a hard-fought soccer game. He started to cry and it was not one of my proudest moments, but I’ll never doubt my own competitive spirit.

We all have a competitive spirit within us, but the best way to use this advantage is directing these feelings inwardly. Create a “past self” that you can beat every single time as your “present self”. Compete and triumph over your “past self” every day.

Every Day I’m Getting Better in Every Way

As much as I harp on competing with yourself rather than anyone else, it may be different for everyone. If comparing yourself to others gives you enough motivation to stick to your goals and be victorious at all costs, more power to you. I would suggest the vast majority of people become discouraged with comparisons in newspapers, television, movies and any other media source.

Just don’t put yourself down when you make improvements, but they pale in comparison to professionals. It’s about you.